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Well, he raises one eyebrow and says,
"Here's a switch -
You claim you're from Long Island,
But you're not rich.
I bet you live on a hill
Behind a big stone wall
And spend your Grumman millions
Every week at the mall
Ain't your teenage daughter
In the loony bin?
Don't you start thinking condo
When the blacks move in
To your shingled neighborhood
Clean streets and sun
And pizza pies
For everyone

"Ain't the golden rule
That you hold so true
'Love thy neighbor
Till he gets a nicer car than you?'
And don't you squeeze your kids
Till their brains leak out
When you need something to brag about?
They give you something to brag about."

Well, she raises one eyebrow and says,
"You're a stitch -
You claim you're from Long Island,
But you're not rich.
Can you afford your Gap?
Your Drakkar and Clinique?
Can you afford enough hairspray
To last you a week?
Do you stay up late for info
On the Billy Joel show
Reading Amy Fisher bios
By the Shoreham glow
In the big old comfy room
That's yours alone
With locking door
And private phone?

"Do you customize the woofers
On your new IROC
So you can hear the bass pumping
From around the block?
And fuck 'em if the neighbors
Bitch about the noise
'Cause they're not down with the Strong Island Boys.
Those wacky Strong Island Boys
Don't you love your Strong Island Boys?"


from Jed Has Too Much Free Time, released January 7, 1995
Words and music by Jed Davis
Published by Eschatonality/ASCAP

Jed Davis: vocals, keyboards
Produced, as it were, by Jed Davis
Recorded and mixed by Jed Davis in his room, Farmingdale, NY


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