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This song was later rerecorded under the title "Babysitter".


Billy, now you've done me in
Thought we agreed you would never set the cat on fire again
Billy, when your parents get home
They're gonna beat your little ass, and next time they go out, they'll probably leave you with
Joan, who has the food between her braces all the time
Or Benny, who breaks all your toys
Sarah, who contests you
Or Vinnie, who molests you
But no matter who it is, it won't be me
You're gonna be a sorry boy

Billy, stop biting me
It's time to go to bed now, I can't let you watch any more TV
Billy, don't piss on the rug!
I know you don't know what "infanticide" means, but it's crossing my mind now and all I can do is
Shrug my shoulders and thank God your parents pay me well
Even though I can't maintain control
If I'm your favorite babysitter,
Why must you play cat to my kitty litter?
I swear to God, kiddo, sometimes
I just wanna drop you in a hole.


from Jed Has Too Much Free Time, released January 7, 1995
Words and music by Jed Davis
Published by Eschatonality/ASCAP

Jed Davis: vocals, keyboards, guitar
Produced, as it were, by Jed Davis
Recorded and mixed by Jed Davis in his room, Farmingdale, NY


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